Beautiful Sounds, Become Nightmares
Thunder sounds used to precede a beautiful rainy day; planes engine sounds used to make me run to the garden to say goodbye to the travelers wishing I was with them. However, today these sounds are very distre ssing triggering horrific flashbacks. I wake up frightened from the thunder in the middle of the night, my heart is pounding waiting for the glass to shatter. I unconsciously cover my ears and shudder whenever I hear a plane above me, anticipating the airstrike. Living about 1000 meter away from a huge cluster bomb explosion that trembled a whole country is the worst experience ever. I still remember hearing the plane moving, pausing right above our heads, the sound of the rocket getting out of the plane, firing away from the plane, moving towards the mountain followed by a huge explosion. Uncountable airstrikes right above our house while we are hiding in the basement, hearing the rockets, the glass shuttering, the neighbors screaming, our kids crying, still closing our ears praying that the house won’t collapse on us at any minute. Our house got destroyed in the gigantic cluster bomb that destroyed the whole neighborhood. Fortunately, we were out of the house. I travelled to Beirut with my trauma, assuming I am over it and hoping to start a new life. I did not know my experience will reoccur here in Beirut, but sadly it did. The Beirut blast was an exact copy of “Faj Attan” blast, I had to relive the sorrow experience. I believed I was resilient enough and I thought I found safety in here and no more explosions. I was numb, I did not feel anything at the moment. However, when I went to the port and saw the destruction, flashbacks hit me, and I felt insecure, sad, and frightened. Like a horrible horror movie, I lived in Yemen, and relived it here in Lebanon.